Ask Astrid: The 2025 Holiday Survival Guide
Ask Astrid is a monthly advice column focusing on the modern rules of engagement and aims to help individuals navigate social scenarios with respect and consideration.
The invitations are piling up, calendars are full, and the scent of cinnamon is in the air. Thoughts of what to wear, what to bring, and if you can actually make it to three events in one night run through your head.
The holidays bring joy, pressure, nostalgia, and exhaustion. Before the season sweeps you away, remember that etiquette isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence, thoughtfulness, and making people feel comfortable.
Here are some helpful reminders and tips as we head into the holiday season.
Personal Holiday Events
What if I don’t want to go? It’s okay to say no. If you’re not feeling super social and festive this year, you’re not alone. More people are setting firmer boundaries with saying ‘no’. If you do RSVP ‘yes’, show up with intention. If you need to say ‘no’, decline promptly and skip the guilt. If you are event hopping that evening, tell your host in advance so that they know.
Small gestures matter: Bring something thoughtful for the host, especially if it is a smaller gathering. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just intentional.
“What do you do?” Instead of defaulting to questions about what someone does for work, consider asking, “What’s something interesting or meaningful you’ve been working on lately?” It encourages more engaging dialogue and helps avoid the awkward slide into an unintended networking pitch or the impression you’re sizing them up.
Respecting boundaries and holiday cheer: Certain topics can quickly dampen the mood, from politics, questions about if or when someone plans to have children, asking a woman if she’s pregnant because she’s not drinking, or probing into health issues. A good rule of thumb: if you’re unsure whether something might be sensitive or appropriate to ask, skip it.
Normalize non-alcoholic options: Many people are choosing to drink less or not at all. Hosts: make sure there are festive drinks for everyone, not just water or wine.
Not all holidays look the same: Be mindful that not everyone celebrates the same traditions, or any at all. Try to avoid blanket assumptions like ‘What are you doing for Christmas?’
Work-Related Holiday Events
Read the room (and the invite): When in doubt, err on the side of caution for the holidays. It’s easier to take off a blazer than wish you’d worn one.
Don’t overdo the holiday cheer: As tempting as it is to overindulge in holiday cocktail cheer, don’t. Be mindful of how much you’re drinking and make sure to eat, especially at cocktail events.
Beyond the bubble: Especially on hybrid teams, not everyone feels part of the inner circle. Be intentional about including teammates or newer hires in conversations and help make them feel a part of the team.
Keep it light: Don’t treat it like your office therapy session. A holiday gathering is not the time to air grievances about workloads, people, or the year that was.
Avoid being the ‘Nosy Neighbour’: Steer clear of prying into the personal lives of others, especially if they aren’t proactively offering up that information. People will open up if they want, when they want.
This holiday season, lead with kindness and remember that etiquette isn’t about knowing which fork to use; it’s about making others feel comfortable in your company. And that is never out of style.
